GREY

My mood is in grey colour..nonono..it's in BLack~!
I don't fucking know why good things will never happen on me..always the bad one..problems problems and problems!
Nothing is good! It's so fucking unfair.
Family,love,studies,friendship...

I once relied on friendship when I was lost..cause that's the only thing I could rely on.
Friends always come first..but I still do love my family.(its just that we communicate in a different way)

TODAY IS REALLY A BAD BAD DAY FOR ME.
I don't know why.it feels like another important person gave up on me. I know It might seem too serious to say that,but that's how I feel. I'm dying inside..for a really long time..this time is like more deeper...

Disappointment is what I get. Sorry Is my bad Its all my fault. I got problems. I don't know what I'm talking.I need to see a psychologist!! My problems have never been cure so far..I'm suffering from major depression..whoever comes near me or mix too much with me might get influence by me also..I'm the only person with sad face..all of them are happy..why I just can't be one of them? I hate it so much!

You're mad at me for the reason that I didn't even think of it and the worse part I didnt even realized it..how funny is that?I don't deserve anyone. You 'll just get hurt and sick cause you havta deal with a psycho like ME!

You're mad at me
I'm Mad at myself too. I don't know what to do.
I'm tired. Exhausted.
You're right..its true..
Pretty sad right to look at me?to have a friend like me?

It was so shocking that actually you can also know my weaknesses.
Yes,I'm that kind of person.
I have low self-esteem.
I do not love myself and instead..I do not know how to..
That is why I don't deserve anyone..How could us love someone else when we don't even know how to love ourself?I'm always reminding myself that I don't deserve anyone until the day that I already start loving myself..but seems it'll never come true.

I'm feeling so sad for myself too after you telling me that you're just so sad to look at me cause I do not love myself. I do not need pity..I felt offended but I know you were right.
But instead of telling me this..is there any better things that you can do?If not then please.. just don't let me know and let me down..just keep it yourself..cause its so shameful! so shameful to have a friend like me!

This is me..that's why for having this kind of attitude..the bad things happen at the first place.
I CAN'T HELP IT~I'm like that since young!guess what?!even my mom said wanna bring me go see psychologist.
You tell me what the hell I can do?
Why would I try so hard to fix something which was already broken so badly and cannot be fix back anymore?isn't it useless? I rather be spoilt. Yes I am.
Trust me.I don't wanna hurt anybody.
Just leave me alone.